Since he graduated from the U of R in 1985, Jim Nickel BA’83, BEd’85 has spent the vast majority of his career in far away lands. His first overseas posting was as an English teacher in China. Later he would serve Canada’s Foreign Service in exotic locales such as Jakarta, Indonesia, New Delhi, and Afghanistan. Throughout his career, Nickel has found himself in the middle of some significant historical moments. From finding himself on the streets of Beijing during the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre to the 2002 Bali bombings and the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. The past few years have had their share of intrigue as well. As the deputy head of mission in Beijing, Nickel was one of the key players in the September 2021 release of the two Michaels -- Michael Spavor and Michael Kovrig.

A lone man with shopping bags raises his arms in defiance as a line of menacing tanks hovers over him.

The iconic image from June 4, 1989, of the Tiananmen Square Massacre in Beijing, China was an extraordinary example of courage and a rallying cry for freedom. (Unconfirmed reports say the protestor was later executed for his act of defiance.)

In this June 5, 1989, file photo, a Chinese man stands alone to block a line of tanks heading east on Beijing's Changan Blvd. in Tiananmen Square.  Photo by AP Photo/Jeff Widener
In this June 5, 1989, file photo, a Chinese man stands alone to block a line of tanks heading east on Beijing's Changan Blvd. in Tiananmen Square. Photo by AP Photo/Jeff Widener

University of Regina graduate and Canadian diplomat, Jim Nickel BA’83, BEd’85, was an English teacher at one of the universities in Beijing at the time. He recalls marching on the same Tiananmen Square concourse with tens of thousands of Chinese students in the days leading up to the massacre. But on that fateful day, Nickel was elsewhere.

“My wife, France (Viens), and I were both teaching English at the time and decided to go for a hike up Mount Tai in Shandong Province, near the birthplace of Confucius. We were coming back to Beijing on the train, completely unaware of what had just happened,” he recalls. “When we arrived at the station, it was deadly quiet. There was no one in the streets, where normally it was wall-to-wall people. We looked around and saw burned out skeletons of cars and buses, and soldiers in combat gear with rifles standing guard around military vehicles.”

Nickel getting ready for a picnic with friends in Hunan, Changsha in 1987.
Nickel getting ready for a picnic with friends in Hunan, Changsha in 1987.

The couple rushed back to the university, but the campus was completely cleared out, with beds unmade and books still on tables. “It was chilling,” Nickel recalls, lost in thought. He then shakes his head at the next memory, underscoring the nuanced politics of the day.

“Everyone was gone except this one foreign student from Sri Lanka. He told us the PLA (People’s Liberation Army) had occupied the city, forcing students to flee to their hometowns. When we asked him why he was still there, he said ‘The foreign students all went to their embassies. But I’m Tamil – I’m not going to the Sri Lankan embassy. I trust the PLA more than the Sinhalese.’

That made me reflect on how precarious foreign students lives can become in times of crisis.”

No one knows for sure how many students were killed that day. The Chinese government has suppressed information to this day, but it’s estimated that 3,000 people lost their lives.

“You have to understand what was happening at the time,” Nickel says. “Chairman Mao established the People’s Republic of China in 1949, and then over the next 25 years, he launched several ideological campaigns to forcibly mold the Chinese people into true communists. It was an unmitigated disaster,” Nickel says.

When Mao died in 1976, his successor, Deng Xiaoping, took over and set in motion a period of “opening and reform.”

“The practical aim was to grow the economy and improve people’s lives,” Nickel says, “but the students wanted to take those reforms one step further to the political arena and usher in democracy.”

As Nickel explains, in the early spring of 1989, there was hope and promise in the air.

In 2022, Viens and Nickel returned to Hunan Changsha to visit friends they had met 35 years earlier while teaching English in China.
In 2022, Viens and Nickel returned to Hunan Changsha to visit friends they had met 35 years earlier while teaching English in China.

“It was a feeling of good-humoured anarchy as the students took to the streets of Beijing, going from university to university every day over a six-week period, calling fellow students and teachers to come join the demonstrations. I followed along as a spectator. It felt like democratic change might actually happen, with banners everywhere calling for freedom and accountable government. But it didn’t happen.”

It took the Communist Party leadership six weeks to decide what to do. “Clearly, there were divisions in the Party on how to handle the student protesters,” Nickel explains. “In the end, the Party cracked down hard, killing thousands of innocent students and reinforcing the absolute authority of the Communist Party. The hardliners prevailed. There would be no liberalization of the political state. Any reformers in the Party were sidelined for good. The Party would never relinquish its absolute control.”

As Nickel looks back, he recalls a dichotomy with his time in China. “The teaching experience and opportunity to meet people and make friends in China was wonderful and truly one of the best experiences I’ve had. As a small-town kid from Saskatchewan, it opened my eyes to the world, where before, the farthest place I’d ever traveled was Minneapolis,” he smiles.

Nickel (third from right) and other family members gather in Rajistan, India for a 2013 family reunion.
Nickel (third from right) and other family members gather in Rajistan, India for a 2013 family reunion.

“The Chinese people are so warm, welcoming, and enthusiastic – full of life and ambition. It really felt like they were on the cusp of something great. As it turns out, that entrepreneurial energy, which was allowed to flow freely, built China into the second largest economy in the world in just a few decades. But in terms of individual freedom and transparent, accountable government, the Tiananmen incident put a quick and brutal end to any hope for progress. Shortly after Tiananmen, my wife and I packed up to return to Canada, but I never left China behind.”

In fact, China would continue to play an important role in shaping Nickel’s career.

Nickel visits a temple in the mountains in Taiwan. He started his Taipei assignment in September 2022.
Nickel visits a temple in the mountains in Taiwan. He started his Taipei assignment in September 2022.

The early years

As he thinks about his childhood in Saskatchewan in the 1960s and ‘70s, Nickel’s face lights up and his smile is warm and inviting.

“My dad was in the RCMP, and we moved around a lot. Every couple of years there was a new opportunity in Kipling, Punnichy, Hudson’s Bay, Tisdale and Swift Current,” he recalls.

“It instilled in me a love of constant change and adventure. I think I always wanted to become an explorer, so it makes sense that I’d end up in the foreign service. That kind of lifestyle really appealed to me – the constant mobility, moving to a new country and taking on a new job every three or four years. I really enjoy learning about other countries and peoples, the different governance systems, economies, societies and history, and being exposed to different languages, religions, and customs. It’s exciting!”

Nickel’s dream of becoming an explorer took flight by way of an education degree at the U of R. “I really thought that teaching would be the vehicle for me to discover the world.”

At the time, one of Nickel’s profs, Dr. Hsieh, taught Chinese history. One day, Nickel met up with Dr. Hsieh for a beer at The Owl, which led to his first opportunity to teach overseas.

“Dr. Hsieh was routinely bringing Chinese scholars to the U of R for one-year sabbaticals. Over time, he developed a large network of professors in Chinese universities who were looking for native English teachers, so it made sense for him to start supplying teachers from Saskatchewan,” he says. “My wife – who was teaching at LeBoldus High School at the time – was intrigued, so we jumped at the chance to go abroad.”

Nickel and Viens arrived in Hunan, Changsha in 1987, then moved to Beijing in 1989. “It was there that I ran into an Irish Ambassador who told me all about the Irish foreign service. I thought to myself: ‘Canada must have one too.’”

Nickel and Viens in southern China in Spring 2019.
Nickel and Viens in southern China in Spring 2019.

A new opportunity

After Tiananmen Square, Nickel and Viens moved back to Ottawa where they both pursued master’s degrees. Nickel received his degree in International Relations at Carleton University, and Viens received an MBA at the University of Ottawa. Upon graduation, Nickel joined the Department of External Affairs (now Global Affairs Canada) as a foreign service officer.

“I kept telling HR, ‘I’m just back from China, I know some Mandarin – post me to Beijing! I can make a contribution there.’ But the department had other plans.”

At that time, Canada had sanctions on China following the Tiananmen Square incident, and External Affairs saw Japan as the key partner for Canada in Asia.

“It was the place to be in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s,” says Nickel. “Japanese companies were buying up Manhattan and Hollywood, and Japanese cars were more popular than GM and Ford. So, I was sent to Japan to begin intensive language training, spending a year in Yokohama studying Japanese, and five years at our embassy in Tokyo. That was a period when we really grew our bilateral relationship.”

Nickel interviews (and maybe delivers a karate chop to) action adventure star Jackie Chan at the Canadian Embassy in Beijing in December 2021.
Nickel interviews (and maybe delivers a karate chop to) action adventure star Jackie Chan at the Canadian Embassy in Beijing in December 2021.

But Nickel’s deep interest in China remained. “When I came back to Ottawa in 2000, I reminded HR about my time in China and my desire to serve in Beijing. But HR said the department had lots of Chinese speakers who could fill that role, so instead, they sent me to Jakarta, Indonesia. It turned out to be an eventful posting.”

That three-year assignment started off with the Bali bombings, followed by the Indian Ocean tsunami that devastated the province of Aceh, and culminated with the first-ever direct presidential elections.

“That series of events meant that I had opportunities to work on humanitarian relief, counterterrorism, and support for democratic processes. In terms of professional and personal development, my time in Indonesia was exceptionally rewarding.”

Nickel, his wife and two young daughters returned to Canada, where Nickel spent a few years at headquarters. “I worked on Canadian interests in South Asia, including Afghanistan, when our Armed Forces were in Kandahar,” he says proudly. “My wife – who spent years as a teacher or consultant wherever I was posted – also decided to enter the foreign service.”

Nickel (centre #20) poses with Team Canada teammates during a 2019 pond hockey tournament at the Great Wall of China.
Nickel (centre #20) poses with Team Canada teammates during a 2019 pond hockey tournament at the Great Wall of China.

The couple was then posted to New Delhi, where Nickel became the deputy high commissioner – Canada’s number two diplomat in the country – from 2009 to 2014. His wife, France, worked as a consular officer, helping Canadians in distress. “India is a fantastic civilization – colourful, dynamic, and full of cultural diversity. We spent five fabulous years exploring India and building ever closer relations between our two countries.”

While the couple’s daughters received a global education, Nickel and Viens continued with the foreign service. “After India, I had this amazing opportunity to work on the Canada-U.S.-Mexico trade files, and travel extensively to our embassies and consulates in North America. The U.S. market is key to maintaining our standard of living, so working on U.S. trade issues was an opportunity to contribute directly to Canadians’ prosperity.”

China beckons

 Through it all, Nickel kept dreaming about China.

“My persistence finally paid off,” he laughs. “I was given the number two role in China, assigned as deputy head of mission to Beijing in 2018 – a time when Canada-China relations were very good. The year before, we tried to launch free trade negotiations which were supported by many Canadians. The first official visit I hosted in Beijing was Premier Scott Moe and his delegation of Saskatchewan companies. The Chinese middle class of 400-million consumers all want what Canada, and Saskatchewan in particular, has to offer – food, fuel, and fertilizer – so trade was on everyone’s mind.”

Nickel says it was a busy time in the fall of 2018, with the Federal Ministers of Agriculture, Trade and Finance, as well as the Prime Minister actively engaged in discussions with their Chinese counterparts.

“The PM met with the Chinese premier to seek cooperation on Climate Change, plastics in the ocean, and biodiversity. We all anticipated a close, cooperative relationship to address issues of global concern. But in an instant, relations went from the Golden Age to the Ice Age.”

Nickel clears his throat and chooses his words carefully, navigating the fine line of confidentiality he’s been sworn to uphold as one of this country’s highest diplomats.

“Meng Wanzhou – the CFO of Huawei Technologies – was detained at the Vancouver airport under a U.S. Department of Justice extradition request. They wanted her to appear in a U.S. court to face charges of bank fraud. Canada and the U.S. have an Extradition Treaty to facilitate such law enforcement matters, so we upheld our commitment.”

Jim Nickel, right, the deputy chief of mission for the Canadian Embassy in China, speaks to reporters at an entrance door to No. 2 Intermediate People's Court as he and foreign diplomats arrive to attend former diplomat Michael Kovrig's trial in Beijing, Monday, Sept 22, 2021. The Beijing court was expected to put on trial the second Canadian citizen held for more than two years on spying charges in apparent retaliation for Canada's arrest of a senior executive of the telecoms giant Huawei. (AP Photo/Andy Wong)
Jim Nickel, right, the deputy chief of mission for the Canadian Embassy in China, speaks to reporters at an entrance door to No. 2 Intermediate People's Court as he and foreign diplomats arrive to attend former diplomat Michael Kovrig's trial in Beijing, Monday, Sept 22, 2021. The Beijing court was expected to put on trial the second Canadian citizen held for more than two years on spying charges in apparent retaliation for Canada's arrest of a senior executive of the telecoms giant Huawei. (AP Photo/Andy Wong)

Very quickly, a dark cloud descended on Canada-China relations. Canadian citizens, Michael Spavor and Michael Kovrig – soon known as “the two Michaels” – were detained in China as hostages. Canola sales from two large Canadian grain companies were blocked, and other non-market measures were deployed by the Chinese state to punish Canada.

“It was arbitrary detention and economic coercion,” Nickel explains. “The Chinese state mistakenly believed that these pressure tactics and a freeze in bilateral relations would force the Canadian government to comply with China’s demands and intervene in a judicial matter, but that’s not how it works in a democratic country.”

France Viens (right) and Canadian Ambassador to the People's Republic of China, Domimic Barton (left), land in Calgary on September 25, 2021. Viens and Barton were escorting Michael Kovrig (second from left) and Michael Spavor back to Canada after they spent almost three years being detained by Chinese officials.
France Viens (right) and Canadian Ambassador to the People's Republic of China, Domimic Barton (left), land in Calgary on September 25, 2021. Viens and Barton were escorting Michael Kovrig (second from left) and Michael Spavor back to Canada after they spent almost three years being detained by Chinese officials.

Up until Dec. 1, 2018, relations had been friendly and mutually beneficial, but the freeze took effect immediately.

“It required perseverance and tenacity to get the two Michaels released after more than 1,000 days in captivity,” Nickel says, noting the release date of September 25, 2021. “We had to remain calm and steadfastly committed. It was a case of probing and analysis, trying to find a way to break the stalemate and chart a path forward. We had to keep our personal feelings in-check while remaining laser-focussed. There was a lot of hard work done by many people to get them released.”

Some quiet reflection

Nickel and his wife returned to Canada with feelings of accomplishment. It was time to move on.

“I’ve recently accepted a new assignment in Taipei, Taiwan where my wife and I are settling in, open for new adventures.”

As Nickel looks back on his 31 years in the foreign service, he can’t help but reflect on the impact that first teaching opportunity in China had on him. “The Chinese people left an indelible mark on me…”

Nickel at the Canadian Trade Office in Taipei where he has served as the executive director since September 2022.
Nickel at the Canadian Trade Office in Taipei where he has served as the executive director since September 2022.

The people he grew to love still tug at his heart today. As he looks back on his career, Nickel can’t help but feel a sense of pride. “Promoting and defending Canada’s interests in Asia and North America, as well as helping Canadians abroad, like the two Michaels, all rank pretty high,” he offers.

Much has changed in the world since Nickel first left Regina for Changsha in the late ‘80s, with geopolitics becoming ever more complex and tense. History does not stand still.

Recalling his first overseas experience in China and the events of Tiananmen Square, Nickel has this reflection: “Those were formative years, and I’ll carry the memories with me forever. They not only shaped my career path, but the person I am today.”

Caring. Compassionate. A change maker. Nickel is all these adjectives and more.

About the Author

Lynette Piper is an award winning writer and filmmaker living in the Qu’Appelle Valley. Her recent short film, ‘Out Standing in His Field,’ about an elderly man with dementia, won Best Short at the 2022 Regina International Film Festival.

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Building and restoring a historic community hub

April 21, 2022, marked a historic day for not only the University of Regina, but for the citizens and community of Regina. On this day, University of Regina President and Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Jeff Keshen, along with funders, partners and friends, officially re-opened Darke Hall which became - once again - a stunning centre for the performing arts.

It was all made possible with the support of the Government of Canada's Enabling Accessibility Grant, many private donors, and through a partnership with Conexus Credit Union (Conexus) membership.

Darke Hall under construction in 1929. 
Darke Hall under construction in 1929.

History of how the renewal project began

Darke Hall, originally known as the F.N. Darke Building for Music and Art, opened in 1929 as a gift to the University of Regina (formerly Regina College) and an expression of benefactor Francis N. Darke's vision "to build a temple to the arts, and a centre for cultural activity." Before long, Darke Hall became the premier concert hall in Southern Saskatchewan.

The Darke Hall stage was home to this 1959 production of Hansel and Grete
l.
The Darke Hall stage was home to this 1959 production of Hansel and Grete l.

The concert hall underwent several renovations over the decades: rehearsal, recording, and storage rooms designed by architect Clifford Wiens were added in 1962, the building's foundation was rebuilt starting in 1983, and new dressing areas were added in time for a long-awaited re-opening in 1986. Despite these upgrades, Darke Hall continued to deteriorate and eventually its doors were closed due to safety concerns. During this time, the University's College Building on College Avenue was facing similar challenges.

In 2011, two Regina community members, Dr. Lynn Goldman and Dr. Jean Freeman, approached then-president of the University of Regina, Dr.Vianne Timmons, to advocate for the historic buildings, calling on her to invest in restoration.  From this conversation, the College Avenue Campus Renewal Project was born.

Innovative thinking to community building

By September 2015, Darke Hall had been closed for several years. Community groups actively called for its re-opening, however, significant funding was required to bring the building up to code. Exploring local investment options to restore Darke Hall the University released a request for proposals (RFP) in 2016, seeking a development partner to support the College Avenue Campus Renewal Project.

When the University issued the RFP, Conexus was well into its journey of searching for a new location to consolidate its corporate services employees. Already having investigated 17 sites for its new headquarters, it soon realized that none would accomplish what a partnership with the University could. The partnership had the potential to help solve Conexus' operational needs while supporting the community in restoring the College Avenue Campus and Darke Hall.

It was a hard decision to make; Conexus knew that the partnership would be a complex undertaking. As a local credit union with core values of being bold, creative, responsible and authentic, Conexus knew it needed to be bold, creative, and to think outside the box for the betterment of the larger community and be responsible in consideration for the future generations of College Avenue Campus learners. Conexus submitted a proposal to the University and in June 2016 was announced as the chosen partner. Through this partnership Conexus would contribute $8.25 million to the project.

Artist rendering of the Conexus Credit Union head office and the Darke Hall atrium that has solved accessibility issues in 
the refurbished performance space. (Artist rendering courtesy of P3Architecture Partnership) Artist rendering of the Conexus Credit Union head office and the Darke Hall atrium that has solved accessibility issues in the refurbished performance space. (Artist rendering courtesy of P3Architecture Partnership)

Community impact

Over time, this partnership has helped save College Avenue Campus and restore Darke Hall to a prestigious performing arts centre. It has also created new amenities for the community to enjoy for many years to come. This includes:

Future of Darke Hall

As part of Darke Hall's grand re-opening, it unveiled a new logo and announced a new management agreement with a not-for-profit society, governed by a community board - the Darke Hall Society - that will handle all leasing and operations of Darke Hall for years to come. This arrangement allows the University to retain ownership of the theatre but removes any operational costs to run Darke Hall. It's also expected to help local community arts organizations within limited funds to access the world class facility.

To learn more about Darke Hall or to inquire about booking the theatre, visit www.darkehall.ca.

 

Audience members watch a video on the occasion of the Grand Reopening of Darke Hall on April 21, 2022.
Audience members watch a video on the occasion of the Grand Reopening of Darke Hall on April 21, 2022.

Thank you, Conexus

While each organization has different core interests, we both share the same value and commitment of community. Thank you, Conexus, for stepping up in a time of need.

This partnership is a true example of what is possible when the community comes together to collaborate and solve problems. Together, we have been able to preserve a piece of our shared history and build a community space for future generations. That is what community is all about.

[post_title] => Conexus' community commitment [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 6417-2 [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-10-26 15:02:23 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-10-26 21:02:23 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://www.degreesmagazine.ca/?p=6417 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 6488 [post_author] => 12 [post_date] => 2022-11-03 14:45:50 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-11-03 20:45:50 [post_content] =>

Journalism made me many things. It made me proud and sad and exhilarated and frantic. It made me a hustler and a confidante and a messenger of awful stories. It made me see so much pain and so much beauty and so many ways the two intersect.

And it made me a procrastinator. I find it incredibly difficult to get anything done without an imminent deadline.

And so, here I am, beginning to write this essay that I planned on writing two weeks ago, but that isn't due for another two weeks, and my mind begins to drift. Should I get a new hair dryer? How many HomePod Minis should I order? And then it pops into my head, as unpleasant things sometimes do, an email I sent almost a year ago, and I wonder if I've missed a reply.

I abandon my Word document and Google searches and YouTube videos of women blow-drying their hair, and type Canadian Screen Awards into the search bar at the top of my inbox. And I begin to scroll.

CTV-live1

With each flick of my fingers, my heartbeat quickens.

The racing-heart thing happens often when I am reminded of something from my former(ish) life. Not as often as, say, a couple years ago, but often enough that I'll likely be on the therapy-and-Zoloft circuit for some time.

And I begin to feel sad and I my brows begin to furrow. And my fingers are suddenly heavy and slow.

I'm looking for an email from someone who told me she'd look into my request and get back to me soon. I wanted to know for sure: Why had I been nominated? But I find nothing but memories, and must sit with them now.

Reporter-ridealong

I was on my third maternity leave when a colleague at CTV News Toronto forwarded an email that had been sent to the newsroom by the new boss.

Wow. You bet you are!!!!!!!!!! That's a big deal, he'd added to the top of the email. Below his message I found the list of our newsroom's nominations for the Canadian Screen Awards.

Best Local Newscast. Best News Anchor. Best Live News Special. Best Local Reporter.

Me. I was dumbfounded. Nobody told me that my work had been submitted. To be perfectly honest, I hadn't even known that Canadian Screen Awards went to journalists - that's how little I paid attention to the awards circuit.

I had taken no great pride in previous awards that mentioned my name. It always felt uncomfortable being congratulated for reporting on someone else's misery. (Did I forget to mention? I was a crime reporter, for nearly 15 years).

But this one felt different. Best Local Reporter. It felt as though they were judging me not on one story or interview, but on my body of work. Like they were saying, Hey you. You're doing good. And that one step of removal from all the awful made me feel, well, proud.

Bolo newser

A month or two later, I was sitting around a fancy table in a fancy room full of fancy people, making small talk with one of my supervisors when he asked if I knew which story I'd been nominated for. No, I told him. And my heart skipped a beat.

"The triple homicide," he said. And I knew exactly which he meant. And I was awash with sadness and shame.

The triple homicide.

My bosses had been so pleased with the story I told, with the witness I had interviewed. That sad, sad interview with that sad, sad woman who had initially said she didn't want to talk.

And as I type these words, my mind goes to my spin class the morning after I reported those awful events, lights low and everyone around me huffing and puffing, and me sobbing, tears streaming down my cheeks, feeling so angry and so sad and so alone, in a room of so many.

CTV-community members

This wasn't the job I had signed up for all those years ago, after moving to Vancouver for a summer of soul-searching. I was on a long-distance call with my wise, wise father, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after a year of pre-pharmacy.

"Well, you like to talk to people, and you like to write," he said. "You should go into journalism!"

Perfect! I thought. I can write for a snowboarding magazine!

I didn't know then that I would fall in love with news, that I would have a woman cry into my voice recorder just three days into my first internship, at the Regina Leader-Post, and that our conversation would spark my love for telling stories that made people feel something, that made people care.

I couldn't have predicted how fascinated I would be by the police chatter bouncing across the newsroom of my second internship, at the Calgary Herald.

I didn't realize how I would thrive on the rush of deadlines, working a four-to-midnight shift during my third internship, at the Toronto Star, the night editor standing over my shoulder mere minutes before the final deadline, as I pounded out the final lines on the city's latest murder.

CTV-live2

Turned out, I was really good at crime reporting.

Not just at getting to know police officers - and I got to know many - but at listening to and sharing the stories of the sad, the exploited, the destroyed, the devastated.

Four contracts at the Toronto Star, then a full-time gig at the Toronto Sun. Then a conversation with a TV colleague on the side of a rural road, a recently discovered body decomposing nearby.

Come work for us, from him. No, you'll never catch me in front of a camera, from me. And then, You're already doing it, from him, with a gesture to my little camera and little tripod and the demand for this newspaper reporter to create video content for the web. Come do it right.

And so, I did.

_URE3511 web

I was thrust into the limelight, literally, outside a downtown Toronto hospital where, just hours earlier, a Toronto Police officer had been pronounced dead. I had watched the flood of officers go into the emergency room, held a mic out as the big and sad police chief delivered the news that would cause a city to grieve, and watched the video shot by colleagues, showing the officer on a stretcher, first at the scene and then at the hospital, paramedics pounding on his chest.

It was all awful.

Calling through the phone book for family members of homicide victims, just hours (or less) after their loved ones had been killed. Sneaking up to the Intensive Care Unit of various hospitals, looking, again, for loved ones of those who had died and those who were clinging to life. Knocking on the door of the house with cars lined up down the street, an hour after having been told 'no,' because one of my competitors arrived and was giving it a go.

All of this happens, every day. And I know it sounds disgusting. And frequently it is. But it's the way bad-news stories are regularly told. Because, quite simply, it's the way it's always been done.

IMG_1620

And so, a few years ago, I left my crime-reporting post to launch my company, Pickup Communications - a public relations firm that supports trauma survivors and the stakeholders who surround them (think first responders, journalists, survivor support workers).

I launched a research project in the spring of 2020 examining the impact of the media on trauma survivors, and the impact of trauma on members of the media. That project produced a research paper, and a book, and a bunch of talks that I've made to a bunch of people. If you don't have time to read the paper or the forthcoming book, I'll save you the time: The media causes a lot of harm, not because they want to, but because the system was built that way. And it's time to tear it down.

In a conversation earlier this year with Elynne Greene, the head of Victim Services for the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, I was telling Elynne about the guilt I hold, knowing I caused harm in so many ways over so many years, even though I was trying to do good.

And Elynne said this: "It's not guilt, it's growth."

Those words have helped me immensely, and I have found so much peace in the big Saskatchewan sky since moving home two years ago.

But still there are times, when the house is quiet and I'm not under deadline, that my mind drifts to those things that I can't let go. And I send another email. Because I've just got to know.

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